A Hard Exterior The Interior is Equally as Hard
by Gary the Janitor
Summary: Roadhog gets it on with a robot.


It had been an extremely stressful day for Mako, work had been unbearable ever since the office got those new compact keyboards. Mako's huge disgusting sausage fingers kept accidently mashing multiple keys at the same time. He was also required to wear these pinstripe suits that just barely fit around his chest, still revealing his grossly oversized sack of a stomach. Life wasn't all bad though, Mako's shift had finally ended.

 _Finally,_ Mako thought. _I can leave this nightmare of a desk job._ He entered the parking garage, an absolute mess of a place drowning in discarded trash, and headed towards his vehicle. The best a man of his salary could afford. A Ford Pinto with a missing roof. He headed towards the left side of the car and lifted his stubby little legs over the car door. Someone had welded his door closed as a joke so he couldn't open it. With a sigh of relief, Mako placed his keys into the ignition, twisted sideways and was on his way home.

Whilst on the drive home, Mako glanced at his surroundings every now and again. This wasn't exactly an affluent town. He could see Gabriel Reyes, the friendly neighborhood drug dealer, handing out pick-me-ups to local hoodlums. Jack Morrison, the local nutcase, yelling at kids who aren't there to get off his lawn. Lúcio, hype man and DJ extraordinaire, trying to start another outbreak of dancing mania. Mako was surprised that the DJ had not collapsed; he has been dancing for three weeks straight.

The house was just in sight. It wasn't exactly in the greatest shape, but it served Mako well. The shingles may be falling off, the interior paint may be chipping, there may be raccoons living inside the foundation, but it was home nonetheless. He parked in the dirt path that resembled a vague outline of a driveway, hopped on out as his fat rolls gyrated to-and-fro, emulating that of a slug's mating ritual. He proceeded to waddle on over to his door, the hinges of which are held on to the doorframe via duct tape, and headed on inside. What was waiting beyond the door was quite unexpected. Within the decaying walls of Mako's shoddy domain lie a MEKA unit wearing completely ripped lingerie. It was coated in a light pink paint job with contrasting gray bits of machinery. A slick layer of motor oil drenched the unit's mechanical figure. The MEKA unit raised one of its cannons and made a universal beckoning motion to call Mako over.

 _Beep. Beep._ The mechanical whirs filled the single-roomed home entirely, mimicking that of a cat's purr. Mako was utterly flabbergasted, just barely able to raise his voice to a comprehendible level as blood rushed to his plump cheeks.

"Erm… What're you uhh doing here?" He was just barely able to voice his own thoughts as anxiety levels raised to an astronomical level within him. It felt like someone was stepping on his windpipe.

 _Beep. Beep._ The MEKA unit began crawling towards him, similarly to that a flirtatious female human would to arouse her partner, making all sorts of sensual beeps in his general direction. The unit used its mounted guns to get a grip on Mako's necktie, pulling him closer until his breath fogged up its cockpit glass.

 _Bwoop._ The mech began to slowly move down Mako's chest, lightly brushing across his skin. He could feel an odd sensation ride up his spine as the machine began reach his nether regions.

 _Is this really happening?_ Mako thought. _Am I really about to do this with a robot?_ Suddenly, an extremely cold sensation was felt upon his pork hoagie. The mech began to lather Mako's member with the excess motor oil on its metal sheets. It looked up into his eyes, a sense of longing could be seen within them; then began to roll its gun barrels along his shaft. A satisfactory moan escaped his lips as the cold metal machine pleasured his member.

 _Bwoop. Beep?_ The mech looked upwards and tilted its head to the side as if to say 'Is this alright?' Mako couldn't make a response his thoughts were being completely overrun by an overwhelming amount of pleasure. After a few minutes of stroking, Mako was getting close; but the mech completely stopped.

"Di-did I do something wro-" Mako was cut off mid-sentence as the machine stood up and turned around, revealing its exhaust pipe. It used its gun barrels to maneuver his stick of salami towards the entry way. Without further hesitation, Mako slammed himself into the hole. A whole new wave of feelings had emerged. Pain, from the high temperature of the exhaust pipe. Pleasure, from the incredulous amount of good feelings the action omitted. Love, for the lifeless machine that stood before Mako.

He continued pounding. Satisfactory beeps escaping the bot's speaker system after each successful thrust.

"I'M READY TO GO WHOLE-HOG!" Mako screamed in ecstasy as he put one last full-force thrust into the exhaust pipe. An orgasm to end all orgasms had come from his member. Entering the machines inner circuitry. Plenty of beeps and boops exclaiming pleasure escaped the machine's speaker. Suddenly, the mech began to give off a green radiance as a speaker system spoke.

"Activating Self-destruct Sequence"

Mako had very few seconds to reflect on what had just occurred before he was blown back by a massive explosion that shook the whole city block. He was lying there on the asphalt outside of his home, bleeding profusely, and pubic hair set ablaze. Completely shredded by shrapnel, Mako looked towards the sky as he passed from blood loss ready to die happily.


End file.
